You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
