Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize