I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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