some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
