i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize