So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
