is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
