No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
