Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
