Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
