Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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