I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
