I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
