my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
