when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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