Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate all girls vehemently.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
