I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
