Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
try to milk me bitch
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