So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize