dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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