Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
