Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
