This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
