is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
