She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
