Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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