this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
