ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
