Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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