And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
