The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize