suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
