when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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