talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
