Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
