I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
