You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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