I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
