Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
