yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
