Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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