Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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