You smell like a Billy Joel song
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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