just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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