Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
