# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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