Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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