like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
worst night to have a conscience
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
