Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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