When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
