I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
