ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
