i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize