I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
