we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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