If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
