if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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