nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
