Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize