i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
