I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
