Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I only lived at night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize