chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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