I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
