For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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