So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
