And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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