After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
