I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
